


Short Change Heroes

by xanavici



Series: Dead Man Walking [3]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Blackwatch Era, Gen, Jesse is a lowkey nerd, Platonic Relationships, Pre-Canon, Supernatural Elements, background Reaper76 - Freeform, mild depictions of violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-10-27 01:03:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10798503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xanavici/pseuds/xanavici
Summary: It took a while, but McCree's finally working for the good guys- well, as good as they get.





	1. Stand and Deliver

**Author's Note:**

> This will be a short collection of one shots taking place during McCree's time in Blackwatch. The chapters are in chronological order with time skips inbetween.

“No, no way you had that good of a hand.  You cheated!” yells Ducain as he throws down his cards.

Jesse just smiles and collects the pile of M&Ms they were betting with.  “Prove it, partner.”

Ducain just sputters and fails to come up with an answer.

“Tell ya what,” Jesse says as he pops a handful of M&Ms into his mouth.  “If ya give me some of yer good smokes -the ones you have hidden in your room, not the shit ones ya always carry around- I'll tell you how I theoretically would’ve increased my odds ta win.”

“So you did cheat!”

Jesse covers his chest with his hand and takes on a mock offended tone.  “I  _ never _ said such a thing.  How dare ya go around tryin’ ta disparage my good character!”

Ducain glares at him before laughing.  “It’s a good thing you’re funny.  You got yourself a deal cowboy.”

Jesse’s shoulders release the small amount of tension that had built up at the sound of the nickname that had been bestowed upon him when he first joined Blackwatch.  Everytime he hears it he breaths a sigh of relief.  Having a nickname means being accepted.  Being accepted means being liked.  Being liked means not getting killed in your sleep. 

It’s almost been a year since he accepted Reyes’ offer and even though he’s still scared that he’s going to royally fuck up and get sent to prison, Jesse’s never once regretted his choice.  

Four months after he joined and was finally approved for full agent status he met the scary women with the eye tattoo from his vision all those years ago.  It took some time for Captain Amari to not immediately glare at him with the most mistrustful gaze he’s ever seen, but once he earned her respect she took him under her wing and started teaching him everything she knew about shooting.  Said she didn’t want another sharpshooter to fall victim to the spray-and-pray method that Reyes and Strike-Commander Morrison both use.  When that happened Jesse checked off another vision from that day in the desert.  It let him know that he was still on the path Death said he was supposed to be on.  

That doesn’t mean it’s been easy.  His first couple months were filled with more tests than he can remember.  Everything from his physical fitness, to his shooting, to his tactical aptitude, to his loyalty was under scrutiny every hour of every day.  It seemed like everyone was waiting for him to screw up and show his ‘true colors’.  He must have done something right because that’s mostly backed off and now he’s treated like any other Blackwatch operative.  Though he can’t help feel like some people are still waiting for him to fail.

Jesse’s communicator goes off, pulling him out of his thoughts, along with a couple others in the room.  

_ 05/21/2057 - 1842 hours _

_ Mission Assignment _

_ Personnel: Reyes, Hogarth, McCree, Kalmas, Ducain, Lee _

_ Location: Lijiang Tower, China _

_ Objective: Infiltration and Data Extraction _

_ Report to Hangar Bay 4 at 0600 hours on 05/22/2057 _

_ [ACCEPT] _

Jesse acknowledges the notification and scoops up all of his M&M’s.  “I want those smokes when we get back, Ducain.  Don’t think I won’t forget ‘bout them.”

“Yea, yea. Focus on staying alive tomorrow first.”

Jesse heads back to his room and hopes his mind will shut off enough for him to get at least a couple hours of sleep.  He hasn’t told anyone but he’s started have nightmares every once in awhile thanks to memories of his Deadlock days and some of the tougher missions he’s been on in the past year.  It doesn’t even occur to him that the others might be experiencing the same thing; can’t give anyone a reason to kick him to the curb.

Jesse wakes up the next morning at 0500 hours after an almost full night of sleep.  A quick trip to the mess hall for his customary three cups of coffee and a stop at the armory for his standard issue gear and he’s ready to go.  As per usual, he’s the second person on the drop ship, the first being Reyes.  Jesse gives a jaunty little wave, which Reyes returns with a nod, and takes a seat.  The four other agents filter in and by 0601 hours the drop ship is in the air.

Reyes briefs them on the flight to China.  Standard infiltration and retrieval op.  Apparently there's some data being stored in Lijiang Tower that implicates a couple of corrupt officials in a cover up. The building should be empty except for the night security staff so it should be easy to get in and out unnoticed.  They go over building blueprints, entry plans, and exit strategies.  By the time they land in China, just outside the city, everyone has the plan memorized and all that's left to do is watch and wait for darkness.  

They set up in a Blackwatch safehouse a couple blocks away from the tower.  Lee and Hogarth are sent out to do one more round of surveillance on the tower while Jesse and Ducain are sent out to find food.  The team spends the next couple hours checking over gear, eating take out, and playing cards.  Jesse teaches Ducain his “alternative playing style” much to the annoyance of Reyes.  

Before long it’s dark out and the tower has closed up for the night so the team heads out to complete the mission.  They get in without a hitch.  A guard almost spots Jesse but Reyes takes him out with a sleeper hold and a sleep dart, a gift from Captain Amari.  They find the data bank exactly where it was in the blueprints and Kalmas starts extracting the files.  It’s the easiest op Jesse’s had so far, which sets off alarm bells in his head.  The first thing Reyes taught him was that no mission goes according to plan and you always have to be ready to improvise.  One look at Reyes and Jesse knows he’s thinking the same thing.  Three long minutes later Kalmas has the files and they head for the exit.  

Unfortunately, getting out isn’t as easy as getting in.  The team is greeted to a firefight on the main floor against about 30 armored enemies.  Lee quickly identifies them as Talon, a new, growing international terrorist organization that just popped up on Overwatch’s and Blackwatch’s radar.  The team puts up a good fight and takes out over half of the Talon terrorists, until Ducain takes a body shot and goes down.  Reyes picks up Ducain like he weighs nothing orders them to retreat to a more defendable position, which is unfortunately in the opposite direction of their exit.  The five of them run and try to escape the Talon soldiers.  Jesse manages to shoot the one’s the get too close for comfort with some well placed shots over the shoulder.  Looks like those lessons with Captain Amari are paying off.  

They finally find a large room full of office cubicles on the third floor to hide in and catch their breath.

“Hogarth, put that medical training of yours to good use and help Ducain,” Reyes orders.  “McCree, inventory weapons.  Lee, give us a new exit strategy.”

“Talon probably has all the obvious exits blocked and monitored so our best bet is probably the gardens on the south side of the building,” Lee starts.  “If we can get over the wall there’s a very active market right on the other side that will be easy to lose any followers in.  From there it’s about two and a half kilometers to the safehouse.” 

“Okay, that’s our new objective.  This isn’t going to be easy, so McCree, how are we looking on firepower?”

“Well Boss, good news is we got plenty of guns.  Bad news is we don’t got plenty of ammo.  We only have three and a half clips fer our standard glocks, ya got two clips for the hellfire twins, Lee has 2 clips fer her double Beretta 87s.  Kalmas’ semi is out, Hogarth has less than one mag for his machine pistol, Ducain has one clip for his backup piece -though he ain’t in any shape ta use it- an’ I got my six rounds in my backup revolver.”

“Hey Commander,” Kalmas calls out from the window.  “Hate to tell you this but their backup just arrived.  Looks like another twenty guys at least.”

“You’re right, I didn’t want to hear that.  We gotta go before they find us.  This room is a kill box.  Hogarth, can we move Ducain?”

“Yea, I injected him with some low grade nanites that should reduce the bleeding and stabilize him enough to move him but it's only a temporary fix.  We need to get him back to the drop ship as soon as possible.”

“Then let’s go.  Lee, McCree, you two take front.  Kalmas take Ducain’s gun and cover Hogarth and Ducain.  I got back.  Move out.”

They manage to make it to the second floor before the meet up with Talon soldiers again.  They take them all out but use up most of their remaining ammo.  The gunfire draws more Talon soldiers to their position and the team has to hide in a large conference room on the opposite side of the floor from the gardens.  

“Lee, is there another way to the gardens?” Reyes barks.

“I mean, we can take the stairs or the window but either way we need to get past ten armed terrorists and get to the other side of the floor.  So, no.”

A wave of acceptance washes over everyone.  They’re not going to make it out.  Going down in a firefight is exactly how Jesse thought it was going to end for him, despite what Death may have told him years ago.  He would use Deadeye but that’s his last trick Reyes doesn’t know about and he doesn’t even have enough ammo to take them all out.  

At least this time he’s going to bite the bullet on the right side of justice.  

“Take the shot, Jesse Emmanuel McCree.”

Jesse’s head whips around the the back of the room where the familiar voice called out.  Death sits in a swivel chair looking utterly calm, like always.  

“Long time no see, partner.”

“Yes, hello.  Why haven’t you used my gift yet?”

“Well ya might not have noticed, but there’s ten guys out there an’ I only got six bullets.”

“McCree!” Jesse turns back around to find Reyes looking at him with a bewildered look.  “Who the hell are you talking to?”

“I-”

“They can’t see me, Jesse Emmanuel McCree.  Right now, only you can.”

“Great, make me look like I’m loosin’ my mind,” Jesse grumbles to himself.  “Just myself boss, tryin’ to figure a way out’a this.”

“Well keep it down, we ain’t dead yet so don’t give our position away.”

“I hear ya, boss.”  Jesse turns back to Death, “Anyways, six is not equal to ten so Deadeye is pretty much useless.”

“Deadeye… I like it.  But Jesse Emmanuel McCree, I am the second oldest being in all of creation.  Do you really think my gift would be limited by something as inconsequential as the number of bullets in a gun?”

“Number of bullets seems pretty consequential.”

Death stares at Jesse with a steel gaze.  “Just take the shot.  But be warned, shooting like this has a cost,” they say before disappearing right before Jesse’s eyes.

“Fine, fine.”  Jesse quickly moves over next to Reyes.  “Boss, get ready ta move.  I’ll take care of the guys outside.”

“Not with six bullets you will.  I don’t need this self sacrificing bullshit right now McCree.”

“Boss, I know it’s too early to ask this and I haven’t earned the right yet, but I’m asking ya to trust me.”

Reyes stares long and hard at Jesse.  Jesse can see the war going on in his head and he can see when one side finally wins.  

“I’ll trust you, cowboy.  But if you die I will personally drag your soul back to your body and kill you myself.”

“Got it, boss.  When I’m done shooting, move like a bat out’a hell.”

Reyes relays the orders and Jesse takes a deep breath.  Once again time slows and the world fades to gray and red.  He faintly hears Reyes say ‘what the fuck’, and in the back of his mind he wonders why Reyes would say something like that, he hasn’t even done anything yet.  Jesse stands up and opens the door.  By the time Talon notices him and raises their guns it’s too late, ten red skulls hover over their foreheads.  Jesse’s six-shooter fires ten times in a row without stopping.  Time snaps forward, the world comes back in focus, and ten bodies fall to the floor as pain lances through Jesse’s eye and hand.  

The barrel of the revolver exploded and tiny pieces of metal sear his hand and arm.  But that’s nothing compared to the pain in his eye.  It’s worse than any hangover or sparring injury he’s ever had and it temporarily blinds him.  Jesse feels hands pull at him and force his head up.  When did he even crouch down and curl in on himself?  He blinks and forces his eyes to work again.  Everything's a little blurry but he can see Reyes’ outline in front of him.  

“McCree, are you okay?”

Jesse nods even though that movement sends another knife of pain through his eye.

“How the hell-?  As soon as we get back to HQ you’re explaining this to me, understand _? _ ”

Reyes pushes Jesse in front of him towards the window.  They jump and roll out of the landing without losing momentum.  Jesse hisses in pain when he rolls over his hand, the pressure aggravating the burns and lacerations.  Lee’s already slung a rope over the wall and Jesse and Reyes are the last one’s over.  The rope is pulled over and the team disappears into the market crowd.

Back on the drop ship, Kalmas wastes no time getting them in the air while Hogarth goes back to work on Ducain.  Jesse presses himself into a corner and sinks to the floor letting the cool metal sooth his injuries.  Hogarth wraps up his hand and presses an ice pack to his eye once he gets Ducain stabilized enough.  With the adrenaline wearing off, Jesse starts to doze off, exhausted from what just went down.  At some point Reyes comes by and squats down in front of him.  The commander says nothing but instead looks over Jesse like he’s seeing him in a new light.

Jesse doesn’t wake up again until rattling of the ship landing shakes him awake.  A medical team is waiting for them right outside and they quickly whisk Ducain away for surgery.  Another doctor treats Jesse’s hand and gives him some pain meds for the lingering headache.  At this point all he wants to do is fall into bed and sleep for 15 hours but before he gets very far Reyes is pulling him into his office.  They take their respective seats on either side of the cluttered, but organized, desk and sit in silence for a couple minutes.  It reminds Jesse of their first meeting in the interrogation room too much and makes him unreasonable uncomfortable.  

“I don’t even know where to start,” Reyes sighs.  He sounds as exhausted as Jesse.  

Jesse stares at the ground and says nothing.

“I guess I should start with thanking you.  You got all of us out of there alive and allowed us to finish the mission.  Thanks doesn’t cover it.  But I can’t figure out how you did it.  Your gun only had six bullets in it.  Every body had a perfect headshot.  Your eye turned red and I’m pretty fucking sure you started glowing, McCree.  How?”

Jesse finally looks up at Reyes after a minute of silence.  “Less than 24 hours after I joined Deadlock I died.”

“What?” Reyes leans forward onto his desk with a disbelieving expression.

Jesse pulls down the collar of his shirt to show Reyes the scar from the bullet.  “I got shot and bled out in the desert surrounded by dead gang members.”

“So how are you alive?  And how does that have anything to do with what you just did?”

“Someone decided I was worth more alive than dead and saved me,” Jesse says like it explains everything.

“Who?”

“I don't rightly know, sir.  All I know is that I shouldn't’ve met them in the first place but they made sure I could make any shot I need to.”

“That’s not a very good explanation.”

“That’s the best I’ve got.”

Reyes leans back in his chair and runs his hand down his face.  

“You’ve got some interesting friends, cowboy.  Go get some rest and make sure to sleep in.  Morning P.T. is cancelled for you and the rest of the team.”

“Thanks boss.”

Jesse walks out of the office with an odd feeling in his chest.  That was the first time he told anybody what really happened that day.  Having at least one person who know’s what happened that day has lifted a weight off his chest he didn’t know he had, but it also makes him fear what Reyes might think of him now.  Thinking too hard about it makes his headache worse so Jesse opts to take Reyes’ advice instead and get some sleep.  He falls into bed 15 minutes later but finds himself restless completely awake.

_ Just how powerful is this gift of his? _


	2. Welcome to the Black Parade

“You should really learn to be more careful, Agent McCree.”

“I know, Doctor Ziegler.  But we are members of Overwatch, we do get hurt.”

“Not as much as you and the Blackwatch squads do.  I am honestly amazed at how often you guys get hurt on what are supposed to be undercover information gathering mission.  How do you dislocate a shoulder doing that?”

Well, when your source is a 250 lb man with a violent streak a mile wide who doesn't take kindly to being kidnapped in order to be “interrogated”, the question should be how did you get away without being hurt more.  But the Overwatch doctors didn't need to know that.

“It's a gift, doc.”

“Yes, well, here we go.  I'm going to pop it back in on the count of three.  Ready?”

“As I'll ever be.”  Jesse takes off his leather glove and bites down on it.  It's time for a new one anyways.

“One-”  _ Pop.  _

“Agh!”  The glove falls out of his mouth.  “Son of a mother fu-”

“No cursing in the med bay!”

“I thought you were going to do it on three!?”

“Have to do it when you aren’t prepared,” Doctor Zeigler says with a shrug.  “Now, here’s some painkillers.  Take one every six hours, two if the pain persists, but no more than that.”

“Thanks Doc.”

“And I do mean it, Agent McCree, try to be more careful.”  Doctor Zeigler sighs, “Why do I have a feeling I’m going to be telling you that for the rest of my life?”

“‘Cuz my middle name’s danger?”

“Ha, get out of here before I hold you for mental observations.”

Jesse hops off the table and books it out of there.  He’s always hated hospitals and the med bay is no different.  He would have popped his shoulder back in place himself if Reyes didn’t order him to have a doctor do it.

As soon as he’s out of sight from the army of doctors that can just as easily break a bone as they can set one, he pulls out a cigarette and lights it up.  The first hit of nicotine hits him in a rush and makes him forget about the residual pain in his shoulder better than any pain killers could.  Everyone tells him how these things will kill him but he figures he’ll be dead before they get the chance to.  

Jesse barely makes it three steps down the hallway before an alarm is blaring overhead.  Half of the doctors in the med bay, including Doctor Zeigler rush past him and towards the landing bays.  Jesse hides his cigarette as they run by, but realizes they’re all too preoccupied to care.  Must be an agent in critical condition coming flying in.  Jesse turns around to get out of the soon to be busy hallway and nearly gets scared half to death.

“He doesn’t have long now,” says Death, looking in the direction the doctors ran.

“Jesus fuck!  Can ya not do that?  Almost gave me a heart attack.”

“Do what?”

“Just pop up out’a nowhere like it’s no big deal.  And who doesn’t have long?”

“The young man they're bringing in now.  Honestly I’m surprised he’s still holding on, no one should be able to survive that.”

There’s a yell for Jesse to get out of the way.  Jesse turns around and sees the army of doctors barreling down the hallway with a gurney.  Jesse flattens himself against the wall and tries to take up as little space as possible.  Jesse can see what Death means, the man on the gurney looks like a tattered mess.  How can someone with so many cuts and burns still be alive?  

“Excuse me,” Death says as they slip in the med bay before the doors close.

Jesse should really get back to his room and finish that paperwork that’s piling up, but for some reason he finds himself taking a seat in one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs in the waiting room.  

It’s some time before anyone comes out of the med bay.  In that times he’s finished his cigarette, took a nap, and done every crossword puzzle and sudoku he could find in the room.  Finally Doctor Zeigler comes out looking utterly exhausted.  

“How’s it goin’ in there?”

Doctor Zeigler looks up, startled.  “What are you still doing here Agent McCree?”

Jesse shrugs.  “Curious, I guess.  Is he gonna make it?”

“I don’t know.  He’s stable right now but it’s been very touch and go.”

“Who is he even?  I didn’t recognize him.  He a new recruit?”

“No… We actually don’t know who he is.  The team in Hanamura found him yesterday.  They did what they could for him out there but flew him here once it was obvious he needed more help.”

“That’s rough.”

“Yes, it is.  Now, if you would excuse me, I have ten minutes to get the strongest cup of coffee I can find before I have to go back in there.”

“My apologies.”  Jesse tips his hat at her and lets her continue her quest to the mess hall.

“I don’t like her,” Death says from the seat behind Jesse.  Jesse jumps, again.

“God damn it!  That!  That’s what I’m talking about, partner.”

“Oh,” they say, distracted.

“Why don’tcha like Doctor Zeigler?” Jesse says, trying to change the subject.

“She’s good at her job.  Very, good at her job.”

“Ohh, yer just salty that she saves so many people’s lives.  Cuts inta yer business, don’t it?”

“Well yes, but also she saved that young man.  He should have been mine but I have never seen such a competent doctor and someone with such a strong will to live.  Maybe that spirit attached to his soul has something to with it…”

“So he’s gonna make it?”

“Most likely, unfortunately.”

“Well ain’t you just a ball of sunshine.”

“Do not patronize me, Jesse Emmanuel McCree.”  Death stands up and smooths out their suit jacket.  “My advice, nobody cheats death without consequences.  When you can, help the young man.”  They walk down the hallway and disappear before Jesse can follow them.

“Ominous,” Jesse says to no one in particular.

 

* * *

It’s four weeks before the mystery man is stabilized enough to be moved out of the ICU.  It’s another five days before Doctor Zeigler gets fed up with Jesse enough to let him go in and visit.

“Don’t expect much Agent McCree,” she warns.  “He sleeps alot and when he’s awake he doesn’t say anything.  I honestly don’t know if he even understands english.”

She’s right.  The first time Jesse goes in there the guy’s sleeping and Jesse can’t believe the guy is still alive.  Over half his body, including both legs and one arm, have been replaced with cybernetics and what’s left is covered with bandages so thick he looks like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.  His hair has been shaved and a complicated looking breathing apparatus covers his face.

Jesse still hates hospitals but it’s quieter than the common rooms so he settles down with some paper work and waits for the guy to wake up.  He wakes up three hours later and Jesse only notices because the respirator’s tempo picked up.  Jesse raises his eyes but that's it.  After a few long minutes the man starts moving and looking around.  His eyes immediately lock onto Jesse and narrow.  

“Howdy.”  

Jesse sees the man’s eyes widen in surprise for a split second before narrowing again.  Jesse makes no move to get up from his seat or to talk again.  Poor guy’s probably had enough doctors in his face hounding him with questions. They fall into a comfortable silence and Jesse watches him relax.  That is until Doctor Ziegler walks in.  The man immediately tenses back up again and glares at her while she checks his vitals.

“How are we doing today?”

Silence.

“Any pain or discomfort?”

Silence.

“Do you need anything?”

Silence. 

Doctor Ziegler leaves the room with a disappointed sigh shortly after that.  Jesse sticks around for a little longer until Reyes messages him telling him to get to a briefing.  

“See ya ‘round, partner.” He says with a jaunty two finger salute.  The man doesn't respond but Jesse wasn't expecting anything in the first place.  

Jesse heads back three days later when he gets back from a mission.  He drops into the same chair as last time with a tired groan.  The man is awake this time and looks at him with questioning glance.

“You don't mind, do ya?  It's more quiet in here then out here and Gabe’s on my ass ta finish this after action report before he has to go see Jack tomorrow morning.  I'll leave if ya want.”

The man says nothing but shrugs after a second.  Progress.  

“Thank ya kindly.”

They fall into a comfortable pattern over the next couple weeks.  Jesse would walk in with paperwork, or a crossword puzzle, or something else just to pass the time and give him an excuse to sit in there.  The man would sit there and watch him in silence until he leaves.  

Nothing changes until a Jesse walks in on a particularly good day for him.  Gabe just approved his leave for next month so now he has five days down in beautiful Greece to just sit back and relax.  That is, until he gets bored and starts looking for a little fun trouble.  

Jesse waves to the guy and takes his designated seat with high spirits.  He waves back -a new development in from last week- and settles back into his bed.  Jesse pulls out his crossword puzzle for the day and gets to work.  He doesn't even realize he's humming under his breath until the man speaks for the first time.

“Stop.”

It takes a couple seconds for Jesse to realize that the man actually talked.  The humming did stop while waiting for his brain to catch up.  Shit, how does he handle this?  Best bet, take the easy route.

“Sorry partner.  I know I don't have the best voice.  Always a little pitchy in the second verse.”

“That was fine.”

“Oh, then why- oh yea.  Forgot that country ain't everyone’s cup of tea.  If ya want I got an old iPod in my room I could give ya.  Got a lot better selection than me.”

“...No thank you.”

“Alright, suit yerself.”

Motion by the door catches Jesse's eye.  Doctor Ziegler stands there with an amazed look on her face; she heard everything.  She probably came around to check vitals again, but now she waits, understanding how important of a moment this is.  Jesse nods in greeting at her.  She smiles and mouths ‘thank you’ before walking away again.  

The man gets a lot more talkative after that, well, relatively more talkative.  He now answers the doctors with one word answers and Jesse with short sentences.

Two months after Jesse started visiting him, the man tells Jesse his name.

“Hey, what's an eight letter word for ‘kind of delinquent’?” Jesse asks as he works on that day’s crossword puzzle.

“Genji.”

“Nah, that doesn't fit.”

“No. My name is Genji.”

Jesse smiles and tips his hat.  “Howdy, name’s Jesse McCree.  Nice ta finally meet’cha.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thus, the beginning of the primary source of Gabe's headaches.
> 
> Also i hc that Blackwatch is kinda like the CIA, everyone knows that they exists and more or less what they do, but not really.


	3. Do I Wanna Know?

For the third time that night, Jesse found himself wondering why he wasn't on the drop ship right now, headed back to base.  The mission had gone perfectly, more than perfectly actually.  They successfully captured and escorted the payload through Dorado without any injuries, took out a handful of Los Muertos, arrested a handful more, managed to avoid all the major concentrations of citizens celebrating a local festival, and as an added bonus found a cache of data in the last warehouse that looked like it has to do with large drug movements.  

So why wasn’t Jesse on his way back to his hot shower and nice, comfy bed?  Because he was undeniably Genji Shimada’s best friend and his twunk, cyborg ass had to go AWOL as soon as the payload was secure.  This isn’t the first time either.  At least when he’s done this before it was always on base and Jesse and Angela knew his favorite hiding spots.  But noooo, he had to run off in the middle of Dorado and Jesse had to go find him.  Easier said than done.  You can’t exactly ask people if they’ve seen a black ops ninja pass through here.

Jesse weaves through the streets looking for the glow of red LEDs but coming up short.  He slumps against the side of a building with a long sigh and lets his head hit the brick work.

_ Fucking ninjas.  Always pulling the disappearing act without a sound, climbing up as high as-  Wait. _  Jesse mentally berates himself.  Back at base the most common place to find Genji was on top of the communication tower.  It's the highest place on base and the most isolated.  Of course Jesse couldn't find Genji by walking the streets and scanning the crowds.

Jesse finds a staircase that leads to one of the overhead bridges.  He climbs it and starts scanning the rooftops, the higher and more difficult to get to the better.  A flutter of motion catches Jesse's eye- one of Genji’s cables, about a block away.  Jesse makes his way over there with some difficulty, climbing was never his strong suit.  He pulls himself up onto the rooftop, thankfully without hurting himself, and finds his friend staring off into the distance, idly running a shuriken across metal knuckles.  

Jesse sits down next to Genji with a long sigh and lets his feet hang off the edge of the roof.  Experience makes Jesse wait out the silence.  When Genji eventually tells him what’s going on, it needs to be on his own terms and Jesse can be patient when he needs to be.

Finally, after about ten minutes, Genji speaks up.  “I’m sorry.”

“Fer what?”

“Holding up the transport, not letting everyone get back to base, making you come find me.”

“Apology accepted, but do ya wanna tell me why ya ran off in the first place?”

Genji goes quiet again.  Jesse pulls out a cigarillo and lights it, content to puff on it until Genji’s ready to open up again.

“It’s the festival,” Genji murmurs.  “When I was a kid we had one for the cherry blossoms in the spring.  It was one of the few occasions that my- my brother and I got to leave the castle and be normal kids for a couple days.  We would run around and play games with the other kids, eat amazing food from the street vendors, and climb up into the trees and look at the village through the pink petals.  Even when things started to really go bad we still had that festival and for a little while, Hanzo and I were still brothers, not enemies.”

“An’ this lil’ shindig brought all that back.”

“Yea…  I’ll never get to taste that street food again, not that I can taste much of anything these days.  I’ll never see those trees again.”

“Hey, you never know.  We might swing around ta Hanamura in the future.  Ya might see those cherry blossoms again.”

“It won’t be the same.  Not when every memory of the place is tainted with what he did to me.  Every time I think of home all I can see is the man who called himself my brother come at me with his sword raised and strike me down.”  The shuriken falls from Genji’s hands and plummets down to the street below while he rips off his mask and buries his head in his hands.

“God he ripped me apart, Jesse.  I don't know how I survived and what's worse is that I do know that I shouldn't be here, I shouldn't be talking to you.  You're a great friend Jesse but you don't know what it's like to know that you should be dead.”

Jesse opens his mouth and closes it again.  He actually knows exactly how Genji feels and he should tell him that but he can't get the words to come out.  After carrying this secret around for so long he doesn't know how to just talk about it.  Gabe only got him to open up because at that time he was still scared of going to jail.  But Jesse looks over at Genji, seeing how this is tearing him up, and swallows down his fear.

“...Actually I do.”

Genji scoffs.  “I'm not talking about a close call on a mission.”

“Neither am I.  Believe it or not, about 15 years ago I did die.”

Genji looks up and stares, confusion a disbelief coloring his face.  “I would say you're lying but I know you would never lie to me.  So instead I'm going to say how is that possible?”

Jesse takes a deep pull on his cigarillo and tells him the whole story, starting with joining Deadlock and ending with the first time he used Deadeye.  Genji just looks at him with wide eyes when he finishes.

“I thought I was hallucinating.  When I was first brought into the medbay at the Swiss base I saw them.  That Death person.  Black suit, weird face, creepy air of superiority, right?”  Jesse hums in agreement.  “They didn't say anything, just stared at me until the anesthesia kicked in.”

“Yea, sounds ‘bout right.  That day they told me they weren't too happy about you not dyin’.”

Genji huffs out a half laugh.  “Sounds like they would get along great with my brother.”  

“Ha, nice.”  That was one thing that made them friends, a shared sense of dark humor that often sent others reeling.

The two of them fall into a comfortable silence and just listen to the music drifting up to their perch.

“Genji, you know yer my best friend and I hate seein’ ya hurtin’ like this.  I know one lil’ heart ta heart ain't gonna fix everthin’ but I hope ya know now that ya ain't alone.  You can tell me anythin’.”

“Jesse I haven't been alone since that day you waltzed into the medbay and started pestering me.”

“Hey, I thought I kept the pesterin’ ta a minimum.”

“Then I hate to see what it looks like when you’re really trying.  But, what I'm trying to say is that you're my best friend too and I know that you'll always be there for me.”  Genji leans over and pulls Jesse into a hug.  Jesse returns it as best as he can at the awkward angle and doesn't pull away until Genji does.

Jesse stands up with a grunt and offers a hand to help Genji up.

“Come on, let's get outta here.”

Genji reattaches his mask then takes the offered hand and pulls himself up.  Jesse watches his eyes crinkle with a smile and slings an arm over flesh and metal shoulders.

“Yea, sounds good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's a little short, sorry, but the last chapter is going to be a doozy. Get ready for sad cowboy stuff.


	4. Ain't No Rest for the Wicked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AKA how much shit can I pile on McCree until he emerges out of my screen and strangles me to death with his thighs

“McCree!  McCree, where are you?”

Gabe’s voice trickles into Jesse’s head as he slowly rises back into consciousness.  

“McCree answer dammit!”

_ God, everything hurts.  Why does everything hurt? _  McCree groans and the sound gets picked up by the comm.

“Jesse! Is that you!  Can you hear me?”

Taking a breath feels like agony.  Jesse groans again and forces himself to open his eyes.  It’s dark but he can see streams of sunlight filtering into the space from the broken ceiling above.  What the hell happened?  The last thing he remembers is gunfire, ducking into an abandoned building for cover, then-.  Nothing.

“Jesse, I need you to talk to me.”

“Hey boss,” Jesse croaks out.  He forces his eyes to focus more and sees a large chunk of concrete on his chest and left arm.  

Oh, that's why breathing is so hard.  

“Jesse what happened?  I've been trying to get to you for over five minutes now.  Where are you?”

“I’m- I- I don't remember.  It's not looking good boss.”  Jesse barks in pain when he tries to shift out from under the rubble.  

“Are you hurt?  Don't move!  I've got a location on your comm and I'm on my way.  Don't move!”

“Couldn't even if I wanted to.”

The concrete slab blocks most of his view but there isn't much to see anyways.  The building is crumbling and looks like a bomb went off inside of it.  Jesse can faintly hear the sound of the battle going on outside along with the alarming creaking of rubble support beams around him.  He decides to focuses on his breathing instead and tries not to pass out again.

“McCree?  McCree, where are you?”  This time he doesn't hear Gabe through the comm, but from a couple feet to the left.

“Gabe.” Jesse groans out after a particularly wet cough.

“Jesse! Oh thank god.  I- ...Shit.”

“What is it, Gabe?”

“Jesse,” Gabe says as he comes into view.  “I need you not to move and not to panic.”  

“You’ve already said that, boss.”

“Yea well I really need you to listen to me for once.”  He thumbs on his comm.  “Jack, I found McCree.”

“Oh thank god,” Jesse hears through his own comm.  “You two need to get back to the transport as soon as possible.”

“That's gonna be a bit of a problem.  I need you and Mercy to get to my location asap.  McCree’s injured and has a block of concrete sitting on his chest.”

“We'll get it off of him before it crushes him.”

“I can't.  I'm pretty sure that's the only thing keeping him from bleeding out.”

Despite what Gabe said, Jesse starts to panic.  “Boss, whaddya talkin’ about?”

“Jesse calm down, I'm right here.  You're gonna be okay.  Jack just get your ass over here.”

“Shit… We’re two minutes out.”

The comms go silent again. 

“Boss, what's going on.  I need ta know.”

“You don’t want to, just trust me.”

“Boss!” Jesse yells as much as he can with his limited breath.  Terror tints his voice and his eyes burn from being frozen open for so long.

Gabe sighs and takes Jesse's hand.  “I'm gonna give it to ya straight, cowboy.  It's your arm.”

“What about it?”

“It's- it’s gone.  More specifically it's lying over there about 5 feet away.”

“...Oh…,” Jesse’s voice cracks.  His breathing starts picking up and it feels like his heart is about to beat out of his chest.

“Cowboy, you need to calm down.  Listen to me, I’m not going to let you die.  Do you understand?”

“My arm- I can’t- Gabe-.”

“Breath, Jesse.  Breath.  It’s gonna be okay.”

“Gabe?  Gabe!” Jack’s voice calls out.  

“Over here Jackie!”

Jack runs over followed by Angela quickly gliding after him.  

“Oh, fuck,” Jack breathes out.

“Mercy, tell me he's going to be okay,” Gabe snaps.  All his patience is gone.

“If we work fast then yes, I need you two to move this concrete when I say so and not a moment before.  Once it's moved, Commander Reyes, apply a tourniquet to his arm and put pressure on the wound.  Commander Morrison, you throw down a biotic field while I make sure he doesn't have a crushed chest or any other life threatening injuries.”

The three nod and get into position.  On Angela’s count of three everyone moves at once.  The two super soldiers easily move the cement block and for a second Jesse feels great.  Then pain replaces pressure and every nerve in his body lights on fire.  Someone starts screaming and it takes a couple seconds for Jesse to realize that it's him.  The cold wave of Jack’s biotic field does little to ease the pain but it does give him enough clarity to shut his mouth and writhe around in pain instead.  Gabe puts a stop to that by pinning him down, which Angela does not like on account of the four broken ribs she discovers.  

Jesse catches a glimpse of his arm, or at least what's left of it, and nearly loses it again.  Gabe sees the impending panic attack and and forces Jesse to turn his head away.  Which is not much better because a fifth person has entered the building.  Jesse would know that immaculate suit and black oxfords anywhere.

“No, no! You can't take me, not yet!” Jesse yells.  He hears Angela say something about blood loss and hallucinations in the background.

“I don't want to, Jesse Emmanuel McCree,” Death says.  For once, they almost look concerned.

“I ain't done yet, I still ain't done everything ya showed me.”

“I know, I know.”

“Then leave, please.  I don't wanna go.”

Death quickly walks over and bends down right in Jesse’s face.  “Listen to me, boy.  Listen to me closely.  I already bent the rules once bringing you back the first time, I can't do that again.  I need you to fight because you're right, you aren't done.  I’m not done with you yet.  There is still more planned for you and you need to be around to see it.  So fight and don't you dare make me come back for you.”

They lock eyes with Jesse and he finds himself unable to disobey that order.

“I've done all that I can here.  We need to move him out now,” Angela says.  Jesse feels someone pick him up (Gabe?) and run for the exit.  Death stays behind and watches the Overwatch and Blackwatch agents run for the drop ship.  

Time slips and before he knows it Jesse finds himself on the ship surrounded by Angela and her medical team.  She sticks him in the arm with a needle and everything goes black.

The next time Jesse wakes up he hears beeping and there's an overhead light that's way too bright, even for his closed eyes.  He raises his left arm to block out some of the light but finds that changes nothing.  He slowly opens his eyes and freezes at the sight.  Memories of the last mission rush back into his mind as he stares at what's left of his arm.

“Jesse! You're awake!” he hears Angela say, but he can't stop staring at his arm.  It’s just...  gone.  How is he supposed to do his job with just one arm?  How is supposed to have Gabe's back with one arm?  How is he supposed to do anything with one arm?

“Jesse look at me.”  Angela turns his head and forces him to look at her.  “Breath with me.”

When did his breathing get so fast?

“Jesse it's okay.  You're alive and safe and everything is going to be okay.”

“Angie? What- what-”

“Do you remember the mission?” Jesse nods. 

“Okay well, you reported needing to find cover right before your comm went dead.  We heard an explosion which we later found out was the building we found you in.  I think that you lost your arm in the initial explosion and the debris that landed on you prevented you from bleeding out until Gabriel found you.”

Jesse nods his head again in a daze.  The only thing that stuck in his mind was ‘lost your arm’.  It played on repeat until it was all he could hear. 

“Jesse!” Angela's voice snaps him out of the downward spiral.  “I know you just woke up but I have three people outside that want to see you and are ready to rip off the doors of my medical bay -again- if they don't do so soon.  Can I send them in or do you want some time alone?”

“Yea, umm, send ‘em in,” Jesse croaks.  The last thing he wants right now is to be left alone.

Angela leaves to go get his visitors and Jesse checks over the rest of his body.  Chest is wrapped up tight, broken ribs probably.  Cast around his right ankle, either a bad sprain or a break.  Bandages on his right arm and shoulder, couple deep cuts by the feel of it.

Genji is the first person in the room, simply because he's the fastest, and he's on Jesse before he can blink.  Jesse’s ribs groan and Genji eases up on his death grip of a hug, but just barely.  Gabe and Jack are right behind Genji with concerned and relived looks on their faces.

Old habits break hard and Jesse finds himself automatically putting on the happy, carefree cowboy mask.  It's a mask he wears well and his friends never notice him don it.

“You cowboy bastard.  Are you okay?” Genji asks when he pulls away.

“I'm all right, I swear.”  Jesse waits for the pun to sink in for a second before waving his left arm to drive it home.  It pulls at the stitches and is more than uncomfortable but totally worth it for the reactions everyone has.  Genji starts snickering, Jack tries to look exasperated but can’t quite hide the small smile, Angela groans and walks out, and Gabe looks like he wants to slap him, but settles for clapping him on the shoulder, hard.

“That was truly atrocious, cowboy.  Do that again and I will drag you out of this bed to make you do laps.” Gabe says, though his voice is too fond to sound threatening.

“What he means to say,” Jack says as he slides up behind Gabe and rests a hand on his shoulder, “is that we're glad you're okay and we're so relieved you're awake.  Maybe I can finally make Gabe get a full eight hours of sleep now.”

“Aww Gabe, you do care.” Jesse says with the biggest puppy dog eyes he can muster.

“Yea well, tell anyone and you won't live long enough to regret it.”

Jesse watches Jack sigh in exasperation then laugh together with Gabe.  This whole thing might be a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation but at least it got those two to spend more than five minutes in a room together without fighting.  It’s only gotten worse since Ana died.  Jesse really hopes they can figure everything out between them before it's too late.  He knows that Gabe at least had been thinking about retirement and he wants Jack to get out with him.

They continue talking well into the evening and only leave when Angela kicks them out so Jesse can eat while she changes his bandages.  Despite her orders to get some rest, Jesse barely gets any sleep.  Every time he closes his eyes he gets flashes of a bomb going off and a building crashing down on top of him.  The next morning he is a wreck and even though he tries to put on a happy face for Angela he knows she doesn't quite buy it.

Gabe and Genji are back during visiting hours that day, and the next, and the next.  Jesse’s glad they visit, when he's alone his mind drifts to not nice places, but at the same time he's exhausted by putting on the happy-go-lucky cowboy mask.  A small part of his tells him he doesn't have to do that, that they'd understand, but a larger part yells at him to not rock the boat, to not inconvenience them anymore than he already has.  They stay as long as Angela will let them unless they have training or a mission briefing to attend.  Every time they leave for one of those it leaves a sour taste in Jesse’s mouth.  He hates the medbay.  He hates being trapped in there like a prisoner even more, even though he knows fully well he isn't.  He hates not being able to do his job most.  And finally he hates not knowing if he'll be able to go back to work or if he'll even be any good at it anymore, and that absolutely terrify him.  Jesse has long since gotten over the fear that he'll get booted if he doesn't pull him weight, he knows Gabe would never do that to him, but there's still a small voice in the back of his head that tries to convince him otherwise and it makes some very compelling arguments sometimes.

Jack stops by a couple more times too, though he can never stay for as long, always getting pulled for this or that.  Torbjorn stops by twice, the first time to show Jesse pictures of his newest kid and to give him back Peacekeeper, all fixed and looking as good as it did when Gabe first gave it to him.  The second time to find out if Jesse has any special requests for the prosthetic he's already started working on.  The new agent, Lena Oxton, stops by even though they’ve only talked a few times before.  Even though she talks a lot and way too fast Jesse finds he likes her and they become friends.  Fareeha even video calls him more than a couple times from Egypt.  She's busy with the military down there but she promises to visit in person as soon as she can.  Jesse tries to tell her she doesn't have to do that but she gives him a glare that she perfected from her mother and says that he's her brother, and the only family she has left now and she's going to be there for him.

 

Two weeks after the mission Angela tells him that his arm’s healed up enough to start scheduling surgeries for a prosthetic.  The first one is the worst, mainly because he has to be awake as the doctors reawaken all the nerves and rearrange them so they're close to the surface and able to be connected to the neural port.  It feels like loosing his arm all over again and the only balm he has is that Gabe is there the whole time.  The second surgery the neural port is connected.  They knock him out for this one and Gabe makes sure to be there when he goes under and when he wakes up.  His arm feels like it's on fire the next couple days and Jesse actually lets his bad mood show.  

One week later, the swelling has gone down and the prosthetic is ready to put on.  Calibrating the arm almost feels as bad as the first surgery.  Every sensor and connection sends a jolt of electricity through his nerves and makes him clench up in pain.  He doesn't yell but he bites his cheek hard enough to draw blood.

The whole time Jesse was in the medbay, it really didn't sink in that he  _ lost  _ his arm.  It really didn't become reality until he got his new one.  One made of metal and LEDs.  One that is twice as bulky and three times as heavy.

Jesse wants to rip it off as soon as it's on.

He doesn't let anyone visit that night, he's too mentally and physically exhausted to put up any front.  Instead he lets his thoughts down spiral as far as possible and looks anywhere that isn't his arm.

Jesse senses Death’s arrival before he sees them.  Before, they would seemingly pop up out of nowhere and surprise him.  But lately, Jesse's been noticing how right before they arrive the room takes on an eerie stillness and most background noises disappear.

“Go away,” Jesse says without looking away from the disgustingly cheery motivational poster on the wall.  

_ Why does Angie even have those? _

“You should show me a little more respect.  After all, I did save your life, once upon a time.”

“Just… not today, partner.  Not today,” Jesse says, complete exhaustion evident in his thick drawl.

They walk around the room until they're standing in Jesse's line of sight.  Jesse is too tired to look somewhere else or refocus his eyes onto them.

“Normally I am… intrigued by you.  But right now I feel almost sad.”

“Aw so you do care,” he says in monotone.

“I don't understand, you knew this was going to happen.  I more or less showed it to you.  Yet you still sulk and act like this is worse than dying.”

“There's a difference between knowin’ somethin’s gonna happen an’ actually havin’ it happen.  Yea I knew I was gonna get a fancy, new, metal arm, but I didn't know how much it was gonna hurt, or how long it was gonna keep me cooped up in here, or-” Jesse’s voice starts to crack, “-or how I don't know if I can still do my job, the one thing I'm good at, anymore.  And what use is there fer someone who can't do their job.”

“You will learn how to use it again.  And you will be back out there soon enough.”

“A few reassuring words don't take the fear away, amigo.”  Jesse’s voice is back to being even and indifferent.  “And before you question that and try ta understand it, just know that ya can't.  Humans are complicated things, and it's damn near impossible ta try an’ understand us.”

Death hums in acceptance.  He then takes a seat next to Jesse and settles in.  Jesse finally spares him a glance.

“Don'tcha have souls ta collect or somethin’?”

“They can wait.  I have something more important to do.”

“Sittin’ with my sorry ass is more important?  Careful, keep this up and I might start believin’ ya actually do care ‘bout me.”

“Don't be ridiculous.” They say before falling silent.  Jesse huffs and goes silent as well.  

The two sit together until Jesse falls asleep.  When he wakes up again the room is empty.  Despite everything, Jesse smirks.  Leave it up to death incarnate to make him feel somewhat better.

 

A couple days later Gabe is sent on a mission, a dangerous one.  That kills any good mood Jesse had been building.  One month ago he would have been on that plane with him and his unofficial primary objective would be watching Gabe’s back and making sure nothing happens to him.  Gabe doesn't have anyone watching his back on this mission, at least no one he trusts.  Jesse still has a lot of physical therapy to do before he can be put back on the active roster and Genji is on a different mission in Nepal.

If anyone other than Angela was watching over him, Jesse would have broken out of the medbay snuck onto the drop ship, damn the consequences.  Jesse does sneak out but it isn't to the hanger, Gabe has already left hours ago.  No, he goes to Gabe's office and cracks open the bottle of bourbon hidden in the bottom drawer.  Maybe if he drinks enough it will dull the strain from PT and make him forget how badly he failed Gabe today.  

Athena helps Lena find him and she helps him get back to the medbay before Angela has an aneurysm.  He stumbles and runs into walls a little more than usual, balance still thrown off by the extra weight of the prosthetic, but gets back to him bed before he causes too much damage to the base.  Jesse’s spirit is a different thing.

 

One week later Genji returns from Nepal and Jesse is officially released from the medbay.  They share a drink and a smoke out on the roof for their dormitories and watch Gabe run the newest recruits into the ground.  He's happy to see Jesse, and Jesse's happy to see him, but there's something different about the cyborg.  He seems… lighter.  Jesse notices it immediately and doesn't let it drop until Genji opens up.

“I met someone there,” he says.  “A monk from the temple near the village we were hiding out in.  He was insufferable and would not leave me alone but once I finally gave him a chance to talk what he said was amazing.  He understood everything about me without knowing who I was and what I’ve been through and when he finished I felt… free.”

“Freedom, don't reckon I remember that last time I felt that.”

Genji sighs.  “I’ve never felt like that.”

The following silence is awkward, and slightly tense.  Jesse stares hard at a Genji and the cyborg fidgets under it.

“Genji, you have a shit poker face.”

“I wear a mask that covers my entire face!” he says incredulous.

“Don't matter, ya still have the worst poker face I've ever seen so spit it out.”

“I’m… going to go back.  To Nepal.”

“On another mission? That quickly?”

“No.  I'm leaving Blackwatch.  I can't stay here Jesse.  I only joined because I needed help destroying the clan.  Now they’re gone, Hanzo has disappeared and is presumed dead, and I’ve traded being a Shimada assassin with being a Blackwatch assassin.  Zenyatta made me realise I’m not really living, I’m just existing.  I need to go back and I need to learn what he has to teach.  You understand, right, Jesse?”

Jesse is silent for a long minute.  Leaving.  He never thought of that, never really realized it was an option, mostly because he thought he was going to die before he got the option so he just dismissed the idea all together.  

“That's- I-”

“Jesse, I know you've seen it too.  This isn't the same organization we joined in our youths.  It's changing into something rotten and unrecognizable and I don't want to be a part of it anymore.  You should think hard about whether you still want to be a part of it or get out while you still can.”

“I get it,” Jesse half lies.  “I really hope ya find what yer looking for out there partner, god knows you deserve it.”  That part he really means.

Genji pulls Jesse into a bone breaking hug. 

“Thank you.”  His shoulders hitch and Jesse groans.

“Now don’tcha go cryin’ on me, cuz I'll start doin’ that to.”  Jesse can already start to feel his eyes burn.

“I'm just- I’m gonna miss you, cowboy. You are my best friend and- no, you are my brother and I wouldn't be around still if it wasn't for you.”

Jesse pulls away from the hug.  “Ya serious?” Jesse asks, surprised and shocked.

“Yea, you idiot.  I know I don't have the best experience with brothers but I think this is what it's supposed to be like.”

“Yer my brother too.  That being said, don't be a stranger.  Hold on to yer comm and shoot me a message every once in awhile.  Let me know you ain't dead.”

“Only if you do the same.”

They come back together for one more hug before Genji leaves to go pack.  Jesse stays out on the roof and watches the sun dip below the horizon.

Leaving.

The thought runs through his head until it's the only thing he can think about.  Genji’s right, there's something wrong with Blackwatch and Jesse’s noticed it.  Gabe's seen it too, it's probably why he keeps pushing back his retirement; wants to clean up this mess before he hands it off to someone else.

Gabe.  Who will watch his six if Jesse leaves? 

Jesse barks out a hollow laugh.  Fifteen years ago if he had this choice he would have been gone already.  But that lone wolf, that desert coyote, has been tamed and he has friends and- dare he say it, family- that he doesn't want to leave. 

Although, almost all of them are gone now.  Dead, forced out, or jumping ship.  And Gabe's proved he doesn't need Jesse at his back with how these last couple missions have gone.

What's really keeping him here anymore?

 

The last time Jesse sees Genji is from afar as he walks out the hangar bay with everything he owns packed into a single duffle bag.  Gabe wasn't happy about Genji leaving, but he understood and let him go without too much of a fight.

 

Jesse wishes he could say things were okay after that, but they weren't.  Gabe started fighting with Jack again.  Jesse's PT barely got any better and while he had full control over the prosthetic it never felt right.  And because of that his shooting was at the worst he's ever seen.  Angela keeps saying he just needs more time but Jesse isn't sure he can give that sort of time.

 

Jesse isn't sure what specifically causes him to make up his mind.  Maybe it's the fights between Gabe and Jack that continue to get worse, or the UN throwing Blackwatch under the bus again, or the nightmares about the warehouse and the bomb and every shitty thing that came before that, or maybe just all of that combined.  Whatever the reason, Jesse finds himself standing in Gabe's office, alone, with his resignation papers and an apology note in one hand and a bottle of bourbon -to replace the one he emptied a couple weeks ago- in the other. He places them on the desk where Gabe is sure to see it and walks out without looking back.  

No one stops Jesse as he walks off the base.  Some people said hello and the subordinates salute but no one stops him.  Part of him wishes someone would but when he walks through the gate of the outer fence unobstructed, a weight is lifted off his shoulders.  

_ Freedom.  _

He takes a deep breath and continues to walk away.

Jesse makes it all the way to central Zurich before he realizes he has no idea where to go.  For the first time in his life Jesse answers to no one but himself.  He has no one telling him where and when to go.  

He takes a seat on a bench overlooking the river and lets that sink in for a minute.

Jesse almost misses the world going silent and Death appearing next to him.

“Ya here ta tell me I'm making a mistake, ta tell me ta go back?”

“No, and I do not believe you would listen to me anyways if I did,” Death says sounding like an exasperated parent.

“Damn right, so why are ya here?”

“I'm intrigued by what you will do.”  An awkward silence follows for a couple moments.

“Ya know, yer allowed to just say that ya care about me.”

“I don't, I'm just intrigued like I already told you.”

Jesse shrugs, unconvinced.  “Fine suit yer self.”

“So what are you going to do?”

“Dunno yet,” Jesse says as he looks across the river with a thousand yard stare.  “Have the whole damn world at my fingertips I don't have a damn clue.”

“Down to the southwest?  Take a trip down memory lane.”

“Hmm, Sounds like a good as place as any.”

“Then safe travels and good luck, Jesse Emmanuel McCree.”

Death disappears in a shimmer of light.  Jesse picks up his stuff, double checks that his comm is completely deactivated before throwing it in the bag and heads to the airport.  

Overhead, the sun starts to set and Jesse smiles a broken smile.  Looks like the movies were right.

The cowboy walks into the sunset alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look... I know that ending was a little (a lot) cheesy but it was too good to pass up. It just worked.
> 
> Anyways this is not the end! I definitely have more planned out for this series I just need some time to collect my thoughts and maybe finish up some other fics first so it might be a little while until the next installation.
> 
> Thanks for reading! I hope you liked it and please tell me what you liked the most so far, really helps my motivation to write, especially since I have more free time during the summer to do so.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr at cryptidhanzoshimada


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